By Stephanie M. Black
Jill, bride-to-be: “It started with denial. This won’t happen to us. It will be fine by May. It quickly moved to uncertainty. What if it isn’t? How long are we comfortable with waiting? Then it morphed into grief. You spend years dreaming about your perfect day, and suddenly it feels like it’s slipping between your fingers and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Every bride dreams of her wedding day from the time she is a little girl. No one ever dreamed that they would be in the position that many brides today find themselves in, postponing their wedding due to the COVID-19 pandemic. But how does one go about rescheduling the most important day of their life? Sophisticated Weddings chats with planners and venues to put together some suggestions on how to handle the unfortunate task of postponing your wedding.
Pictured: Mike & Jill; photo: Silverfox Photography
You Are Not Alone
Sometimes bad things happen to good people. The Coronavirus Pandemic is happening to THE WHOLE WORLD! We're all connected. But there have been other (smaller) situations that have disrupted plans. Whether it’s a contract that isn’t being honored, or just a rainy day, these things can and do happen.
“It's important to remember that it's OK to be emotional,” says Sugar Rose Events owner Christine Ferguson. “Whether you're sad, disappointed, angry, or confused, your emotions are valid and real.”
Not Cancelled, Only Postponed
Take a deep breath and realize while you might not be walking down the aisle on the day you had planned, you will still get there- just on a different date than you had anticipated. New York City Event Planner, Amy Katz says that "so far, no one's cancelling. My couples still want to be in love. They still want to have a party to celebrate their love.” And, with that in mind, POSTPONE! Katz offers: “My advice is: have a contingency plan in place. You'll still get to celebrate - just on a different date."
Pictured: Amy Katz's couple, Jamie & Lauren; photo: Brett Matthews Gallery
Have Two Weddings!
Jill, bride-to-be: “Our original date was something we were so looking forward to. We decided to try to still make that day special by getting legally married. Ultimately it was a relief to postpone [until October].”
Some couples are doing it twice. “Since this started, most March couples got married with just a few people (less than 10),” says wedding planner Norma Cohen. “They plan to have a reception- hopefully- during the summer months.” Norma admits: “It’s definitely not ideal but some couples just want to be married… at the end of the day it’s about the love of the couple uniting.”
Pictured: Norma Cohen's couple, Jackie & Gabrielle, photographed by Jackie's mother on her iPhone as they married in their home... with a L’estis Desserts cake
So, while you might not be hosting your closest family and friends on the date you booked last year, take comfort in knowing that this too shall pass and love does conquer all.
Take stock of your wedding plans. Following their wedding, most couples had one or two regrets. Their should've, could've, would'ves. Postponing gives you the time to pause, look at your plans, and ask: is there anything I probably should do differently?
Haven’t hired a planner yet? Perhaps now is the time to reconsider that choice. A good wedding planner is like a best friend, second set of eyes, advocate, accountant, wedding encyclopedia, and creative genius all wrapped up in one wonderful person. Their job is to make your life easier. Plus planning a wedding is stressful! Postponing may be even more stressful, but it doesn’t have to be. This is still going to be the happiest day of your life. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, then you’re defeating the purpose. Stay calm and enjoy on!
Take Action
The first step is to call your wedding planner as they will coordinate everything. However, if you haven’t hired one, then you will need to start calling your vendors one by one to discuss possible new dates. Ask them how they are handling postponement due to the pandemic and what options you have. Sugar Rose Events says the key is “be flexible! Flexibility will be important when picking a new date. Wedding vendors often book up to a year or more in advance so your new date options mightbe limited. Consider getting married on a Friday or a Sunday or get married during the winter off-season. Also, many couples are in the same boat right now and are looking to reschedule their events, so don’t wait too long to pick a new date.”
Pictured: Sugar Rose Events' couple, Robert & Meghan;
photo: Sarah Merians Photography
This is especially important for vendors like your band or venue that only host one wedding at a time, as their availability could be even more limited. Amy Katz advises to approach your venue and vendors with two dates that work for you; venue, band, photographer, floral designer.
Once you’ve settled on a new mutually agreed upon date and signed any needed contract addendums from your vendors, start spreading the news to your guests. If invitations have not been mailed yet, contact your printer to change the date on your invitations (and your RSVP deadline). If invitations been mailed, think about sending a date change card. Keep in mind that with your date change some of your guests’ availability might have changed.
photo: Cody Raisig Photography
Keep Perspective
Jill, bride-to-be: “Ultimately it was a relief to postpone. We know that keeping our friends and family safe and comfortable is what is most important right now.”
You are quarantined at home. Look for the silver lining in this situation. Were you stressed out that there was so much to do and not enough time? Well now time is on your side. Were you putting off things because your social calendar was so busy? Your calendar has been cleared. Not getting to spend as much time together to enjoy the journey to the wedding? Take this time to fall deeper in love with your fiancé because your special day will come, vows will be said, and people will dance. Your celebration will be extra special because the wedding date may have changed but your love is NOT cancelled.
One last thing…
On the date that was originally supposed to be the day of your wedding, choose to do something to celebrate your love. Remember, your love is not cancelled despite your wedding being postponed. Be together with your fiancé (if you can). Watch your favorite movie. Cook the same food you ate together on your first date. Dance in your living room to what will be your wedding song. For better or for worse, the world is connected through this moment in history. Love that you're not alone for it and find your rainbow within the storm.
Stephanie M. Black is the Director of Catering & Events at
Gotham Hall, as well as a Consultant for the Ziegfeld Ballroom.
She is passionate about planning events, cooking and traveling.