What NO ONE Tells You About Getting Married In New York City (but they really should)

No matter how creative or organized you may be, every couple needs a wedding planner.

…Or at the very least, a month-of or day-of coordinator. Even the most meticulous couples quickly discover that navigating the city’s intricate web of permits, vendor availability, and venue-specific regulations demands a seasoned professional. A wedding planner in NYC isn’t just a luxury; they’re an essential guide through the city’s dense network of resources. They understand the nuances of vendor arrival times, know all the best people to work with, and are experts at managing the logistical intricacies of transportation and accommodations in a bustling metropolis. Moreover, they act as a buffer against the unexpected, handling last-minute crises and ensuring your vision remains intact amidst the inevitable unpredictability of the process. The planner’s purpose is not to take over your creative moment; it’s quite the opposite. Their goal is to give you peace of mind through a seamless planning journey, and ensure that your wedding day is everything and more you hoped it would be. You and your partner deserve nothing less.

Now is not the time to procrastinate. 

We’re all about living in the moment and enjoying the engagement stage to the fullest, but if you have your heart set on a certain venue, live band, photographer, or even stylist, don’t assume you’ve got plenty of time. Depending on how long of an engagement you’re looking at, it’s worth keeping in mind that some NYC  venues and vendors get booked years in advance. If you’re picturing a Saturday night wedding in June, just remember that at the height of the wedding season, availability may be limited. Stay realistic and prioritize the elements that are most important to you, and work down the list accordingly. Planners are experts in this department, which can lift a lot of weight from your shoulders when the task seems daunting.

Transportation and seasonality logistics are important when mapping out your wedding day timeline.

It’s a tale as old as time: the bride and groom become so consumed with the creative details, guest lists, and seating charts, that they forget some pretty key logistics in the process, and the impact is major. When deciding on arrival times, make sure you’ve evaluated all aspects of the transportation situation. Ask yourself how long it takes to get from Point A to Point B, and then add some extra padding to it. You have to factor that not all guests will be as city savvy as you are; they also may encounter rush hour traffic, an Uber blackout, or in some cases, a parade you hadn’t anticipated. No one likes to feel rushed, so it pays to take a moment to check the NYC tourism website for scheduled events happening around the city. Nothing spoils a plan like not being able to access your ceremony site due to a city-wide marathon, or a cultural festival partitioning off street access. Anticipating transportation and access needs ahead of time can reduce – and even eliminate – stress for you and your guests on the day-of. 

Seasonality plays a key role in your wedding day timeline as well. Considering the ways a season may affect your plans in advance can only help to serve you better. If you’re eager to get portraits out in the concrete jungle during daylight, check what time the sun is due to set. Remember that in winter, there are less daylight hours, so you’ll need to plan for earlier times if you want to catch it. The twilight hour just after sunset, where the sky is partially illuminated by the sun, may be just as important. Even factoring the time of year that you and your partner typically endure bouts of hayfever, might be a worthy consideration. Building your timelines around these often overlooked elements could make all the difference in the way you feel about your big day later on. 

Never underestimate the weather.

The only way to truly prepare for adverse weather during a wedding is to expect the worst, and embrace it so it’s actually a great thing. If your guests are expected to spend any time outdoors, being prepared with special touches like umbrellas in your color palette scheme won’t go unnoticed and will be most appreciated. If your wedding is in the summer, be ready for hot weather with parasols and a refreshing welcome drink like an icy lemonade for your guests to cool off with. Conversely, if you’re getting married in winter, consider a warm welcome drink like a hot toddy, and be sure to not overlook this opportunity to buy a fabulous coat for outdoor pictures, because under no circumstances should you be your something blue! If you find you’re really anxious about what the weather holds, you can even hire a meteorologist to stay one step ahead of unpredictable weather (believe it or not, this is actually a thing!)

When it comes to shopping for your wedding dress, nine months before the wedding day is the sweet spot.

Shopping for a wedding dress is an experience unlike any other. While for other occasions, you may take home your dress that same day, wedding dresses work a little differently. The dress you’ll try on in the store before your friends and family will likely be a floor sample, and not a perfect fit. In fact, you’ll most likely have it clipped in the back to give you an idea of what it will look like once it’s tailored to you. As designer gowns are made to order, and that creation process could be happening anywhere in the world, you can expect a dress to take at least six months (or more) before it’s ready for you to do your first fitting. A few fittings may be required to ensure a perfect fit. It’s better to leave plenty of extra time, especially as you might find yourself opting for more than one dress, with an outfit change at the reception!

Despite what anyone might tell you, New Jersey gets some of the best views.

If you live in NYC, there’s a chance you may have your heart set on keeping your wedding here – and we get it. But don’t be so quick to rule out your nearby neighbours in favor of a zip code. From Hoboken to Jersey City, you can find several exquisite venues with unobstructed views of the Manhattan skyline, and some additional perks too like the ability to accommodate a larger party, outdoor and waterfront space, and a lower tax rate to boot ( and on that note, did you know wedding dresses are exempt from sales tax in New Jersey?). While New York City is a magical place to wed and holds many options within, there’s some incredible city vibes to be had just outside the NYC boundaries too.

Quality wins over quantity every time. 

This may be inconvenient news to your budget, but in the realm of weddings, this old adage tends to ring true. While it may be tempting to cut corners in a few areas, seeing them as less essential than others, you could be doing yourself a disservice. For instance, opting to forgo a planner could end up costing you during a communication breakdown with a vendor, or perhaps investing in a larger quantity of inexpensive decorative elements may not materialize the way you had imagined. Imagine being stuck with 200 tealights that won’t hold a flame – that purchase will not have been such a bargain after all. Investing in higher quality elements can elevate your wedding experience to an unforgettable level. Whether that’s a skilled photographer who exquisitely captures your vows, or booking the wedding band that has everyone tearing up the dance floor, the value could very well outweigh the cost.

Surround yourself with vendors whose energy matches yours.

This cannot be emphasized enough: your wedding day will go by in a flash, and yet at the same time, it’s a very long day. Much like the way you and your fiance needed to mesh in the early days, you’ll need the same from your wedding day company. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the know about the most talented photographer in the city or have a celebrity planner at your side – if their vibe isn’t your vibe, then the vibe is not right. The only way you’re going to love your wedding photos is if you’re comfortable, and for that to happen, you have to actually enjoy being around the people you hire. This is as much of a personality matchmaking as anything – just because you know someone who has had a great experience with a particular professional doesn’t mean they have to be your professional. Choose to have people in your corner who share your aesthetic and approach, and give you a good feeling in your gut. Your day will be so much more enjoyable if you do.

Not everything will pan out the way you’d planned for... and that’s OK.

The journey leading to your wedding day will undoubtedly have its share of unexpected twists and turns. We know it’s a lot to ask, but embracing flexibility will make rolling with the punches a whole lot easier. If you can manage to avoid getting bogged down by the little annoyances – the favors that didn’t arrive in time, the linens that arrived in the wrong shade of white, the construction happening on Fifth Avenue – you’ll discover there are prime opportunities here to connect with your partner, and see the bigger picture. As this is often easier said than done, it helps to keep a close confidant – whether a bestie or planner – on speed dial. Be sure to take extra special care of yourself during this time, doing whatever it is that makes you feel at ease. Enjoy a pampering at the spa, book into a yoga class, or partake in an activity you enjoy but rarely treat yourself to. Now is not the time to skimp on self-care.

Don’t forget to eat and stay hydrated. And take home the cake!

Following months of planning, and laboring over menu selections, it is the cruel twist of irony that too many couples get so caught up in the whirlwind of the day, that they actually become dehydrated and depleted of energy. It’s crucial to remember to eat and stay hydrated throughout the wedding day, and the days leading up to it. This will improve the way you feel on the day, and by adequately nourishing and hydrating, your body (and skin) will thank you. Be sure to enlist a friend or family member that will run you over some hors d’oeuvres during cocktail hour, since you may have a hard time walking a few feet without greeting one guest or another. And while you’re at it, it never hurts to have a chat with the caterer ahead of time about leftovers. You’ll love having the opportunity to taste everything your guests tasted the next day, in the comfort of your own private space. Alternatively, you could opt to donate any leftovers to your preferred local charity. Just don’t forget to save a piece of cake for the freezer so you can enjoy it together on your one year anniversary! If sharing a slice of year-old cake doesn’t quite appeal to you, now is the time to plan ahead. You can order a scaled down replica of your wedding cake from your cake artist in advance. 

Remember: you can’t please everyone.

It wouldn’t be a wedding if not for a little drama. It happens to all of us; clashes over location, timing, bridal party, guest list, seating arrangements… the list goes on. There’s always going to be someone who has something to say, and it can drive you mad getting caught up in all of it. Remind yourself that at the end of the day, this wedding is about you and your fiance. This is a celebration of love. You cannot control what others may do or say, but you are in control of how you interact with it. No matter what happens, don’t let a little petty wedding drama eclipse the reason for this occasion. This is your moment to shine, and it happens in a New York minute, so even if it means delegating matters and putting your phone on silent to achieve that, no one can take that from you.